A couple days ago, after a rather harsh freak out of mine, my lovely husband knew just what to do to cheer me up. Joe made up the couch bed in the living room, popped popcorn on the stove<3, and let me pick any chick flick I wanted. See, I ask to watch these alleged "chick flick" movies rather regularly, but unfortunately, Joe does not share my passion for women and their drama. After some serious internal debating (for such an opportunity as this should not be taken lightly), I decided on Julie and Julia.
Needless to say, I loveddd it. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that I HAD to do the same challenge and learn so much about myself and food and end up in Paris and blah blah blah. Umm... totally never going to happen. I do not have the time, patience nor money to take on such a journey.
So, my next idea was that I needed to cook more. When I told Joe this, he grabbed the computer and started searching for cooking classes for me (Cute gesture in supporting my fantasies, but I can't help but think he is trying to send me a message... =/ eek).
We ended up seeing that cooking classes are way to expensive and that I do not need to learn how to cook, I just need to learn what to cook. The hours and hours I invested in my brief addiction to the Food Network definitely taught me a thing or two about making my way around the kitchen. It's just recipes that I need to get more familiar with.
With that being said, Joe and I landed on Eggs Benedict. It was well past midnight at this point, but we were unstoppable. We went to the store, gathered our supplies, and headed back to the kitchen to try a hand at poaching eggs and whisking hollandaise sauce.
Now, it was no Julia Child meal, do not get your hopes up. The egg yokes were a little firm and the hollandaise sauce was... interesting. The experience, however, was one in a million. I love those moments where it is so blatantly clear that I married the most amazing man and could not ask for anything more. The poor guy tags along on these fantasies of mine knowing he has to work the next day, yet never allowing a minute to go by of not being present with me and enjoying my happiness.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next day I decided I am done being depressed and wallowing in my sorrows (I'm not sure it works that way, but it's worth a shot =]). So far, so good. I have tapped into my inner optimist. With every ounce of bad I may experience, I am able to pair numerous goods that can easily out way it. I may be dealing with vertigo and revisiting emotions of a loss, but I have an unbelievably loving husband who will not leave me to suffer alone and I have a God that knows all and has eternal love for me.
"Happiness is a choice." ....a concept that has been drilled into me by Morrie Schwartz and my big brother. I mustn't forget to make the correct choice, or else! *thumb sliding over the neck*
Onward and Upward,
Laurel Smith
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Funeral 5 Years Too Late...
One can only imagine the surprise I felt when my dad told me that my mom's three sisters would be joining us on our camping trip, and we were going to be having a memorial service and spreading my mom's ashes while we were all together.
It has been almost five years since my mother passed away. My feelings on the subject run deep and hard within me.
Apparently, she had told my dad that she wanted to rest eternally amongst the red woods. Fitting enough, the camping site they had come to for the last 40 years was nestled in a redwood forest and named "Memorial Camp Grounds." Oh, the irony.
We all went on a trek to find a redwood circle (a ring of redwoods who were once upon a time circling the "mother" redwood, and the "mother" has long since died, leaving the "children" in a loop). We found a perfect circle off a closed road where beautiful ivy climbed up the trees and the sun light peeked through ever so gently. My dad placed the box of her remains on a stump inside the circle with a picture of her next to it. Everyone took turns sharing memories of what an amazing woman she was, and as they did a beam a sunlight worked its way over to light up her picture.
The hardest part was not that she was gone... It was realizing how much she had to offer as a mother. I cannot seem to get over how much beauty and talent was wasted. From the way my Aunt Michele (youngest sister) had talked about her, she quite literally should have been the world's greatest mom. I don't understand what happened between then and when I was born.
Anyways, my mother has finally found her resting place. I only hope this will jump start the healing process that everyone says is supposed to happen after you lose a loved one.
The rest of the afternoon was everything I could ask for after a morning such as that. We journeyed out to a certain beach which happens to be one of my favorite places on earth. I walked with Joe for a long time and we admired God's impeccable artistic abilities. Everything seems to be clearer when you are immersed in a natural creation.
We then took a detour to see a beached whale. People were coming from all over the place to see this thing so we figured we should check it out... and what a site it was...
A huge, a repeat HUGE blue whale had washed up to shore. She happened to be pregnant and apparently when she died she gave birth, so on the near by rocks you found the baby. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it. It was just an amazing experience to see the sheer size of God's creations and the (stinky) circle of life.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/10/22/national/main5408699.shtml
Every experience happens for a reason. I truly believe this. It is our job to learn from them and be a better person due to the hardships. Now, it is time for me to discontinue my dwelling of the past and actively pursue being a stronger person.
Onward and Upward,
Mrs. Laurel Smith
"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
It has been almost five years since my mother passed away. My feelings on the subject run deep and hard within me.
Apparently, she had told my dad that she wanted to rest eternally amongst the red woods. Fitting enough, the camping site they had come to for the last 40 years was nestled in a redwood forest and named "Memorial Camp Grounds." Oh, the irony.
We all went on a trek to find a redwood circle (a ring of redwoods who were once upon a time circling the "mother" redwood, and the "mother" has long since died, leaving the "children" in a loop). We found a perfect circle off a closed road where beautiful ivy climbed up the trees and the sun light peeked through ever so gently. My dad placed the box of her remains on a stump inside the circle with a picture of her next to it. Everyone took turns sharing memories of what an amazing woman she was, and as they did a beam a sunlight worked its way over to light up her picture.
The hardest part was not that she was gone... It was realizing how much she had to offer as a mother. I cannot seem to get over how much beauty and talent was wasted. From the way my Aunt Michele (youngest sister) had talked about her, she quite literally should have been the world's greatest mom. I don't understand what happened between then and when I was born.
Anyways, my mother has finally found her resting place. I only hope this will jump start the healing process that everyone says is supposed to happen after you lose a loved one.
The rest of the afternoon was everything I could ask for after a morning such as that. We journeyed out to a certain beach which happens to be one of my favorite places on earth. I walked with Joe for a long time and we admired God's impeccable artistic abilities. Everything seems to be clearer when you are immersed in a natural creation.
We then took a detour to see a beached whale. People were coming from all over the place to see this thing so we figured we should check it out... and what a site it was...
A huge, a repeat HUGE blue whale had washed up to shore. She happened to be pregnant and apparently when she died she gave birth, so on the near by rocks you found the baby. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it. It was just an amazing experience to see the sheer size of God's creations and the (stinky) circle of life.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/10/22/national/main5408699.shtml
Every experience happens for a reason. I truly believe this. It is our job to learn from them and be a better person due to the hardships. Now, it is time for me to discontinue my dwelling of the past and actively pursue being a stronger person.
Onward and Upward,
Mrs. Laurel Smith
"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Breathe.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
by Sia, Breathe Me.
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
by Sia, Breathe Me.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I'll take a whack at it...
Blogs have always drawn my attention, and I've wished for many years that I had the patience for sitting down and condensing my thoughts. So... we'll see how it goes.
I am 23, been married for 3 weeks and 4 days, and I wish I could stay home with my husband all day, every day.
Today is Day 3 of experiencing my (self-diagnosed) vertigo episodes. After a lovely evening of feeling like I am spinning until I have a migraine and throw up all the red-vines I ate that day, I have decided I need to take today off. Though I still have the spins, the migraine has been reduced to an annoying headache and so far there are no signs of nausea. Phew.
Thank goodness Bruce from AT&T U-verse rode in on his white horse this morning and saved the day by finallyyy hooking up our internet. I am back in! But, for the life of me I cannot find The Rachel Zoe Project season 3 online! Quite the disappointment. However, I am sure if I had found it I would have continued procrastinating this new hobby. For ever loss, there is a win.
Thanks to one of my new found best friends, Allie Rae, and her step-mom I suppose, I have been introduced to Florence and the Machine. Let's just say it was love at first sound. Cosmic Love... the lyrics move me in ways I haven't been moved in years. I love stumbling upon new gems! Thanks Allie!
Despite the draw back of health, I am a happy camper. My home is a work in progress, my husband is amazing, my job is trying and rewarding, and I have some awesome friends and family and a God that loves me. Wouldn't change a thing.
- Mrs. Laurel Smith
I am 23, been married for 3 weeks and 4 days, and I wish I could stay home with my husband all day, every day.
Today is Day 3 of experiencing my (self-diagnosed) vertigo episodes. After a lovely evening of feeling like I am spinning until I have a migraine and throw up all the red-vines I ate that day, I have decided I need to take today off. Though I still have the spins, the migraine has been reduced to an annoying headache and so far there are no signs of nausea. Phew.
Thank goodness Bruce from AT&T U-verse rode in on his white horse this morning and saved the day by finallyyy hooking up our internet. I am back in! But, for the life of me I cannot find The Rachel Zoe Project season 3 online! Quite the disappointment. However, I am sure if I had found it I would have continued procrastinating this new hobby. For ever loss, there is a win.
Thanks to one of my new found best friends, Allie Rae, and her step-mom I suppose, I have been introduced to Florence and the Machine. Let's just say it was love at first sound. Cosmic Love... the lyrics move me in ways I haven't been moved in years. I love stumbling upon new gems! Thanks Allie!
Despite the draw back of health, I am a happy camper. My home is a work in progress, my husband is amazing, my job is trying and rewarding, and I have some awesome friends and family and a God that loves me. Wouldn't change a thing.
- Mrs. Laurel Smith
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)